The day I started to write this blog post, it was with shaky hands and feeling as if I had just left a battlefield.

The battle began when Melisa Pierce, my Equine Gestalt teacher and mentor, took me through a Gestalt coaching session where I landed smack dab in the middle of a battlefield between my mind and body.

Spirit wasn’t addressed during the session, but, oh, she was present and watching the scene unfold.

There I sat with three parts of self out of kilter.

When the session started, I proposed to Melisa that I wanted a clean slate. We talked a bit about what that meant to me and how I felt some stories from my past had impacted my health.

Years of teaching fitness, I was looked upon as the poster girl for a healthy lifestyle.

Yet, my body had let me down two times in my life and with two major illnesses.

What the f*%k, that wasn’t supposed to happen.

I sat in one chair, having a conversation with my body while my mind looked on. Then Melisa guided me through a dialogue between mind and body. Through the Gestalt, the realizations and aha moments arrived like a slap on the forehead.

Whispers -

The experience shifts. I’m now sitting in a different chair; I hear the whispers from ‘what if’ in one ear and the ‘people pleaser’ in the other. They are both holding me hostage and not allowing me to let go of parts of my past or with people that no longer deserve my attention or family relationships that are unhealthy in their current state.

The scene has brought me to tears. I’m shaking, and I want to run. I want to run because running is easier than what I was sitting with. However, I stay put. I know that if I don’t let this sink in, the whispers will continue, and my spirit will die of the sadness that had been its shadow of late.

All too often in my life, partly due to my nature, I’ve been a people pleaser. I hang on to ‘what ifs’ for people I’ve loved and who have hurt me—always wanting to believe the best in them. That they will somehow be different, change their minds, show me another side of themselves only to feel rejected or disappointed with each ‘what if.’

Asking Melisa to help me create a clean slate opened me up.

My mind has a new perspective, and a doorway to healing some old wounds has opened. My body never did let me down, but my mind had.

With no shame or blame, I walked away from that session, ready to face some of life’s challenges without the whispers.

Do you have whispers?

They don’t have to be ‘what ifs’ or ‘people pleasers.’

It could be the whispers that tell you; you’re not good enough, brave enough, bold enough, or worthy enough to have what you want in life.

The truth is, we all have whispers. Maybe even a war between body, mind, and spirit.

Once we realize that, it becomes a matter of how long we want to keep listening. Or maybe there is a battlefield that needs to find peace of mind.

If you would like some help getting rid of the whispers, I’m here to guide you through a conversation with the various parts of self or to have that aha moment that slaps you in the forehead and realize that you are worthy of waving the white flag on the battlefield and find the peace within you.

 

In love and health,
Vonie

As someone who spent her entire life working towards health and wellness only to be diagnosed with Lymphoma in 2019, you might think that I'd have the mindset of "well, if taking care of myself got me this, then why do I work so hard at it?" It also dawned on me that if I hadn't taken such good care of myself, it could have been a lot worse, or I might not have fared so well coming out the other end of cancer treatments.

Either way, I'm here to tell the story and share what I know to be true about living a healthy lifestyle.

Halloween, although I don't consider it a holiday but more of a celebration for those who love the traditional Halloween parties, haunted houses, and the indulgence of sugar, starts the onset of the holiday season.

As the holidays and festivities begin, many people will forgo gym workouts, less sleep, and reduced bank accounts, along with increased stress and perhaps some anxiety to go with it. Then you add the whole pandemic issues into the mix, and we have the perfect storm for increased health issues.

I'm assuming if you are one who loves the Halloween traditions, you've probably already purchased the costumes, accepted invitations to Halloween parties, and purchased the ridiculously expensive bags of candy.

As someone who once loved those traditions, I remember sneaking an occasional piece of candy from the kid's trick or treat bags. Now, I head out and brave the cold with my grandkids, wishing I was indoors and out of the rain.

Thus, the reason this post is about…

8 Strategies to Reset Your Health Post Halloween

Before I dive into the strategies, don't beat yourself up for the sweets you may have enjoyed over Halloween. This is the perfect time to do a reset and prep for the rest of the holidays.

What's Your Why? – What is it that is driving you to stay or get healthy before the New Year?

Mindset – Reframe any negative thinking around why you can't stay healthy during the holidays.

Set Realistic Goals – If goals aren't set ahead of time, it will be much more challenging to stick with any sort of plan or to measure any success you might achieve.

Reduce Sugar Intake – If you tend to be someone who consumes sugar regularly, start cutting back now so you can indulge in some holiday sweet treats without adding more of it to your diet.

Daily Habit – Pick a healthy daily habit that you are willing to stick to. It could be as simple as adding another 8 ounces of water to your daily water consumption. On average, 75 percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated. If you'd like some tips for drinking more water, read my blog post H2O: Are You Drinking Enough Water?

Schedule – I know that sticking to a schedule isn't always the easiest of things to do, but it sure makes my life a lot easier when I do. Put stuff on the calendar and keep an agreement with yourself to stick to it. You'll thank yourself for it.

Let Go – Let go of perfection and work towards progress; if you make it to the gym two days instead of three, great. You made it.

Deprivation – No one I know likes to deprive themselves of something they love or enjoy. Let me ask you this, though. What is it about that sweet treat that you really love, or do you eat it and then agonize over the thought that you ate it and just put 500 calories in your body that you didn't need?

I'm laughing here, as I know I've done just that. My favorite candy was Peanut M&M's, and you know what, every time I've stopped eating them for any length of time and then picked them up again, they tasted like (fill in the blank here). So, I know I have one goal for the holidays: not eat those dang Peanut M&M's.

If you would like some more tips, check out my post from last year on 14 Practical Tips for Managing Holiday Stress.

In the meantime, enjoy your Halloween, even if it's just getting up and down to answer the doorbell.

I'll check back with you next week and offer another nudge towards holiday health. In the meantime, you can also connect with me here if you would like some assistance in strategizing your health.

In love and health,
Vonie

Earlier today, I read a quick post about how our relationships rest on a foundation of trust, and it got me thinking about how often I trust myself to do what’s right for me.

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life where I have wondered how in the world I would ever get something accomplished or get past an obstacle that was in my way.

The obstacle was usually me!

I would find myself saying things like, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll wait until Monday or maybe next month. Then next week or next month rolled around, and I was still not doing the thing I’d said I would do.

I would get upset and hear the negative self-talk start-up in my head and find myself feeling sad or mad that I didn’t keep my agreements with myself.

Have you ever done that? I’m guessing it’s a hell yes!

If I can’t keep a commitment to myself, find the strength to accomplish a task, or be truthful to myself, then what do I have left? A lack of confidence!!

Now, that’s a sad thing not to be trusting or feeling confident in yourself.

NOT TRUSTING YOURSELF – What does it look like, and how can you work through it?

Negative self-talk – Reframe the negative into a positive.

Depression – Seek some help from a professional counselor/coach.

Minimize or even deny your needs – make steps towards meeting your needs.

Can’t find your voice – start speaking out about simple things and learn to say no to things you don’t want to do.

Spend time proving yourself to others – the only person you have anything to prove to is YOU.

Compare yourself to others – you aren’t them. Stop wasting time and energy trying to be someone else.

Reliving the past – look for ways to move forward and know that your past is in the rearview mirror. However, it also helped shape who you are today. If we do the same things, we get the same results. If you want different results, do things differently?

Worry about your future – find productive ways to move your future forward.

Break promises to yourself – make smaller promises and keep them.

Unable or fail to make or keep agreements/commitments to others – say ‘no’ more often or make smaller.

Have a hard time finishing things you start – stick with one thing versus many things and perhaps pick a smaller goal. You could also work with a SMART Plan.

Disconnected to self (intuition) – stop and listen. What does your gut tell you? Pay attention to what you see and hear, not just the words.

Perfectionism – perfectionism is usually deeply rooted in our past and the idea of not being good enough. You are not perfect, and neither is anyone else. Also, please don’t let social media be your guide for how you should behave, look, or appear to the world. Questions where the beliefs of needing to be perfect come from. Maybe explore some new ideas and ways of thinking with a counselor or coach.

Procrastination – Make clear agreements with yourself and keep them. If you’re letting perceived roadblocks stop you, read this post.

Seeking reassurance – something as subtle as asking someone multiple times if they like the meal you made is reassurance seeking. This subject, like many of the others listed, can get complex. If you need reassurance on a frequent basis, seek some help from a counselor or coach.

As you can see from the list above, not trusting yourself can show up in all sorts of ways, and this isn’t even all of them, just the ones that come to mind as I’m writing this post.

Despite mistakes and that long list above, forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Set small and realistic goals and stick to them.

Believing in who you are despite the mistakes will go a long way toward rebuilding your self-trust.

Lastly, acknowledge what you have accomplished in life, as I’m sure there are many things you’ve done that you’ve not given yourself credit for.

I invite you to reach out to me for an equine coaching session or a Zoom/phone session. I’m here to support you in choosing self-trust.

With love and trust,
Vonie

Do you remember the show, ‘Let’s Make a Deal’ with Monty Hall? If you do, then you’re probably in my age bracket.

The show first appeared on TV in 1963. Monty Hall, one of the creators, producers, and the host for nearly 30 years brought great opportunities to the studio contestants, known as a “trader.”

The “trader” would have the option to select between curtain numbers 1, 2, or 3. They could then keep the item behind their chosen curtain, or as a “trader,” make deals with Monty and trade for another curtain in the hopes of getting something of greater value. Unfortunately, there was also the potential to receive what was called a “zonk,” an item that would be of lesser value.

The show was fun and light-hearted and brought lots of humor to the audience and those watching from their living rooms.

I got to thinking about this show a while back when I had some decisions to make over different opportunities. Which one would I pick? Would number two hold the greater value over curtain number one, or would it be a zonk? Or maybe number three would be the better choice.

The difference for us, of course, is that we generally have a bit more information about what is actually behind the curtain of our choices. The biggest unknown is what the long-term impact of that choice will have on our future. And it’s fear of the unknown that can keep us making the same choices over and over again, wanting things to be different, yet afraid to make a different choice. I can tell you that I’m glad that I picked the opportunity (curtain) that I did. Trading would have been an option, but I held to my intuition and the confidence I felt in my choice. I know that in time, the rewards from the choice will be great. I’ll keep you posted.

On a side note, It occurred to me that we all live this moment of choice every day. Each morning before we even get out of bed, we are faced with different curtains. One of those curtains holds excitement and confidence for the day and what it can bring. Another curtain could be an upgrade with a prize item we’ve been holding out for, or it could be hiding negative emotions from the past or fear of the future. Either way, we get to choose which curtain you want to open.

Which curtain will you choose tomorrow?

If your choices have been revealing more ‘zonks’ than ‘delightful surprises,’ reach out to me; I’m here and able to offer support in opening a different curtain.

In Love and health,

Vonie