Six Things You Can Do To Embrace Change

In Margaret Mitchell's book, Gone with the Wind, she writes, "Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.

Benjamin Franklin was quoted to say, "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.

I want to add to that line of thinking about CHANGE. Although it is not always convenient or easy, CHANGE, like death, taxes, and childbirth, is INEVITABLE and not always timely.

"Change is inevitable. Growth is optional." ~ John C. Maxwell

I believe this so much that I named my business A Tail of New Beginnings and added the tag line, A Lifelong Journey. As each day is a new beginning, and we all are on a lifelong journey of changing and growing.

Before I became a life coach, I experienced many of life's changes in a negative light. I would often think, if only I could go back and change this or that perhaps my life would have been better and filled with less heartache. The rearview mirror was the lens through which I viewed the world. I spent too much energy reflecting on what I thought were bad decisions and often regretted many of my life's choices. This was partly due to my lack of trust in myself and my intuition.

Through a lot of hard work and dedication towards personal growth, I learned to trust my intuition. Through trial and error, I came to realize my intuition was pretty much right ALL the time. Trusting it and myself to make better decisions has improved my life tremendously. I’m glad I’ve finally learned to listen.

Why Change?

Embracing change is vital to our health and well-being, and resistances can create heartache and disease and that being open to change can pave a safer path to growth.

As humans, there is a natural tendency for people to do what they have always done. The status quo! However, we all know that if you do the same thing repeatedly, you get the same results, and the consequences can be disastrous.

Big or small, changes will eventually touch all aspects of our lives, and without it, there is stagnation. Changes will come; they always do. It's a constant! Change can happen in a split second, overnight, and over time. We all know what a pandemic can do to cause change. Good, threatening, or ugly growth shows up if we allow it.

Resistance to change

Change isn't always easy. It takes work, and it takes patience, and changes we want to make don’t usually don't happen overnight.

Time – A lot of time can go into making changes. If you're someone who doesn't exercise and wants to get fit, you’ll have to do the work to make it happen. You'll need to establish a new routine, take the time to plan and cook healthy meals. More importantly, you’ll have to make yourself a priority to see the changes you want to make.

Fear – People are afraid that if they change, they may risk losing something or someone. There is a loss that would take place to gain something else.

Unknown – Change can be scary. If we don't know the outcome of the change, fear can set in.

Regret – Often, there is regret that goes along with not changing. If only I had done this or that.
Risk – We risk losing someone or something, our health, for example, if we refuse to see the need for change personally and professionally.

Without change, we can't grow as a person; we remain stagnant.

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” ~ Gail Sheehy

How to change?

  1. Let go of the past; it no longer serves you. If you're hanging on to the past like I was, you'll find bitterness and slow progress in finding healing.
  2. If you don't know what you want, find someone to help you figure it out.
  3. Acceptance will help you embrace change. Journal about it, become bold and find your strength. You are strong and can be a warrior for yourself; you need to see it inside you.
  4. If you don't value yourself, find someone to help you find your value.
  5. Find someone you admire who has walked the path you'd like to take and enlist their help.
  6. Find an accountability buddy—someone who also wants to make changes.

Through my own trials and errors, I have also learned that nurturing ourselves is vitally important for us to move through changes, especially with what’s happening in the world today.

So, be kind to yourself! Give yourself the grace of ease and reach out and hold the hands of the people who love and care about you. Hold space for yourself and believe life is worth every bit of energy we put into it.

You are stronger than you think!

How to Lose Weight - The Struggle is Real

Do you find yourself wanting to lose weight and struggling to do so? Do you feel sluggish throughout the day? Do you step on the scale and think OMG?

You seriously aren't alone. I've heard so many women say; I'm too fat. I hate how I feel. I want to lose weight. I'm tired of being this way. I've heard it from family, friends, clients, and people I have met at social gatherings. Heck, I've even said it myself. The struggle is real.

More often than not, the women I contact with are passing judgment on themselves and feeling shame because they aren't meeting their personal vision of living a healthy life.

How do we change so that we can lose that unwanted weight? What does it take to get up off the couch and go for a walk? What does it take to get in the gym and workout? How do we get the scale to show us results that don't result in OMG!

Before I answer those questions, let's talk about resistance to change.

Change is hard for many people, even when they say they want it. Why is that?

Fear of the unknown – Change means a different direction, and if you don't know what it's going to be like on the other side of what it is you say you want, you may decide it's too scary.

Dealing with change – If you don't have a plan or a direction, change is difficult. If you have some guidance and support, it will be more comfortable, and progress is more likely.

Different stages of change – There are five different stages of change. Which stage you are in will help determine what your next steps are. (Awe, another blog post ideas is forming with this one)

Familiarity, safety, security, and connection – If I change now, what does that mean for my life? It's easier to maintain the status quo. There's a sense of comfort doing the same thing you've always done. Although not making changes will give you the same results.

Old patterns and beliefs are sometimes hard to find – If you are stuck in an old habit or are dealing with limiting beliefs and aren't sure how to overcome them, you'll be more likely to resist change.

So, you can see that getting on board with the idea of change is what it's going to take to get that scale to budge. To get up off the couch and go for a walk, or (insert here what it is you're not doing).

So, how do we change?

Perform an honest evaluation of yourself – For change to happen, we must tell ourselves the truth. Be realistic about what is working well and what is not. When we are honest, we grow, and positive change is reinforced.

Breakthrough the denial – Denial does and always will limit the possibility of change. By admitting weakness, you can face it head-on and work towards changing patterns.

Right-Size Your Reality – Self-evaluation isn't easy or fun. Yet, while undergoing self-evaluation, let go of shame and blame. We don't have to live with the way things have been. We can change the way things are. The point is this: We can love ourselves while we make changes.

A motive is everything – Without a motive, we are doomed to fail. Have a dream worthy of your expression and to experience. What do you love enough to change for? Your kids, your health, or perhaps your work is enough reason to change.

What you resist persists – Ruminating on what you don't have is energy wasted and keeps us stuck in the past.

Be realistic – Set the bar high, but not so high that it can't be achieved. We want our dreams to give us pause, to make our palms sweat, and to create excitement.

Commitment – A goal/dream is more significant when it is of our own. One created by another increases the risk of non-compliance.

The 80/20 rule – Let food, water, sleep, good habits, right relationship with yourself and others, and movement be guided 80% of the time and reserve the other 20% for unexpected stuff that shows up.

Have an accountability buddy – When we are held accountable, we are more likely to take action. Find a friend, a coach, a program, anything that will help keep you accountable for the actions that will move you forward.

Celebrate – Celebrate the small victories along the way to keep the motivation high and the dream alive and enjoy your lifelong journey to your "becoming."

Earl Nightingale was quoted saying, "Success is when YOU achieve a quality of life that YOU want for yourself. It doesn't have to be money, but money can be part of it. It doesn't have to be material things, but material things can be part of it". I would add, it doesn't have to be weight loss, but weight loss can be part of it. It doesn't have to be exercise, but exercise can be part of it.

Five weeks ago, six women on a self-discovery journey started the program One Size Fits None, Right-Size Your Reality. They have made new friends. They have made friends with themselves. They have discovered what was holding them hostage. They have declared victory over the scale, the weight, the lack of commitment to themselves, and who they wanted to become.

I've got a proposition for you. If you are ready to face the challenges, get up and get moving towards what you say you want, I've got a program that will help you do just that. One Size Fits None, Right-Size Your Reality will help you face your fears. It will give you a starting point. It will help you shape your dreams and goals to fit your reality of health and wellness. It will get you moving, eating healthier, and have a great awareness of YOU.

Meet me where you are currently at with all the resistances you have, and let's see if together we can't help you declare what your dreams are and how you can make them a reality!

It's never too late to start.

In health,

Vonie

She Did Because She Could

Have you ever been told by someone you care about that you can't do something you wanted to do? Then you feel a more definite conviction to do it anyway. Some would call it stubbornness. I prefer to believe it is perseverance.

That's why I wrote this blog,

What would lead me to believe it was perseverance versus stubbornness?

Perseverance is persistence in sticking to a plan. It is the ability to keep doing something despite obstacles. It shows steadfastness in doing something despite how hard it is or how long it takes to reach the goal. As a virtue, perseverance is essential to be successful in many aspects of life. Perseverance doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice, commitment, determination, patience with oneself and others, and frankly, a lot of hard work.

The ideas for my quest had been brewing for some time. I had been writing lists, setting the stage for action, and prepping myself to take the plunge forward. I just hadn't plunged yet.

Then COVID-19 made its debut, putting me back in prepping mode and contemplating the fence idea. Like many life coaches, connecting with others is essential to me.

Sitting and doing nothing wasn't going to work. I was determined to find a way to proceed and share a subject matter that I know a LOT about.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes people we love and care about don't always see it our way or eye-to-eye with us. However, looking at both sides is crucial, and it’s not to say that we won’t understand the other person’s point of view in a situation.

“Don’t find fault; find a remedy.” Tony Robbins

Trust in yourself, seize opportunities, challenge the status quo, take risks, and have the courage to be successful. Margie Warrell, a famous life coach, motivational speaker, and author of the book, "Find Your Courage: 12 Acts for Becoming Fearless at Work and in Life", challenges her readers to rethink "life scripts.” Dream big and overcome everyday fears that keep you stuck.

I love the idea of trusting to seize opportunities, especially those that will benefit personal and professional growth, all while doing something you love.

• Are you being called to action, yet, you keep sitting on the fence?

• If you could do something Because You Can, what would it be?

• What transitions would need to take place for you to move forward?

We can stay on the other side of the fence, we can sit on it, or we can jump over. Which side do you want to stand or sit on? If you would like to jump the fence, figure out what that “because you can” thing is, want to change the status quo, or want to transition forward in life – I’m here.

With love,

Vonie