Six Things You Can Do To Embrace Change

In Margaret Mitchell's book, Gone with the Wind, she writes, "Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.

Benjamin Franklin was quoted to say, "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.

I want to add to that line of thinking about CHANGE. Although it is not always convenient or easy, CHANGE, like death, taxes, and childbirth, is INEVITABLE and not always timely.

"Change is inevitable. Growth is optional." ~ John C. Maxwell

I believe this so much that I named my business A Tail of New Beginnings and added the tag line, A Lifelong Journey. As each day is a new beginning, and we all are on a lifelong journey of changing and growing.

Before I became a life coach, I experienced many of life's changes in a negative light. I would often think, if only I could go back and change this or that perhaps my life would have been better and filled with less heartache. The rearview mirror was the lens through which I viewed the world. I spent too much energy reflecting on what I thought were bad decisions and often regretted many of my life's choices. This was partly due to my lack of trust in myself and my intuition.

Through a lot of hard work and dedication towards personal growth, I learned to trust my intuition. Through trial and error, I came to realize my intuition was pretty much right ALL the time. Trusting it and myself to make better decisions has improved my life tremendously. I’m glad I’ve finally learned to listen.

Why Change?

Embracing change is vital to our health and well-being, and resistances can create heartache and disease and that being open to change can pave a safer path to growth.

As humans, there is a natural tendency for people to do what they have always done. The status quo! However, we all know that if you do the same thing repeatedly, you get the same results, and the consequences can be disastrous.

Big or small, changes will eventually touch all aspects of our lives, and without it, there is stagnation. Changes will come; they always do. It's a constant! Change can happen in a split second, overnight, and over time. We all know what a pandemic can do to cause change. Good, threatening, or ugly growth shows up if we allow it.

Resistance to change

Change isn't always easy. It takes work, and it takes patience, and changes we want to make don’t usually don't happen overnight.

Time – A lot of time can go into making changes. If you're someone who doesn't exercise and wants to get fit, you’ll have to do the work to make it happen. You'll need to establish a new routine, take the time to plan and cook healthy meals. More importantly, you’ll have to make yourself a priority to see the changes you want to make.

Fear – People are afraid that if they change, they may risk losing something or someone. There is a loss that would take place to gain something else.

Unknown – Change can be scary. If we don't know the outcome of the change, fear can set in.

Regret – Often, there is regret that goes along with not changing. If only I had done this or that.
Risk – We risk losing someone or something, our health, for example, if we refuse to see the need for change personally and professionally.

Without change, we can't grow as a person; we remain stagnant.

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” ~ Gail Sheehy

How to change?

  1. Let go of the past; it no longer serves you. If you're hanging on to the past like I was, you'll find bitterness and slow progress in finding healing.
  2. If you don't know what you want, find someone to help you figure it out.
  3. Acceptance will help you embrace change. Journal about it, become bold and find your strength. You are strong and can be a warrior for yourself; you need to see it inside you.
  4. If you don't value yourself, find someone to help you find your value.
  5. Find someone you admire who has walked the path you'd like to take and enlist their help.
  6. Find an accountability buddy—someone who also wants to make changes.

Through my own trials and errors, I have also learned that nurturing ourselves is vitally important for us to move through changes, especially with what’s happening in the world today.

So, be kind to yourself! Give yourself the grace of ease and reach out and hold the hands of the people who love and care about you. Hold space for yourself and believe life is worth every bit of energy we put into it.

You are stronger than you think!

She Did Because She Could

Have you ever been told by someone you care about that you can't do something you wanted to do? Then you feel a more definite conviction to do it anyway. Some would call it stubbornness. I prefer to believe it is perseverance.

That's why I wrote this blog,

What would lead me to believe it was perseverance versus stubbornness?

Perseverance is persistence in sticking to a plan. It is the ability to keep doing something despite obstacles. It shows steadfastness in doing something despite how hard it is or how long it takes to reach the goal. As a virtue, perseverance is essential to be successful in many aspects of life. Perseverance doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice, commitment, determination, patience with oneself and others, and frankly, a lot of hard work.

The ideas for my quest had been brewing for some time. I had been writing lists, setting the stage for action, and prepping myself to take the plunge forward. I just hadn't plunged yet.

Then COVID-19 made its debut, putting me back in prepping mode and contemplating the fence idea. Like many life coaches, connecting with others is essential to me.

Sitting and doing nothing wasn't going to work. I was determined to find a way to proceed and share a subject matter that I know a LOT about.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes people we love and care about don't always see it our way or eye-to-eye with us. However, looking at both sides is crucial, and it’s not to say that we won’t understand the other person’s point of view in a situation.

“Don’t find fault; find a remedy.” Tony Robbins

Trust in yourself, seize opportunities, challenge the status quo, take risks, and have the courage to be successful. Margie Warrell, a famous life coach, motivational speaker, and author of the book, "Find Your Courage: 12 Acts for Becoming Fearless at Work and in Life", challenges her readers to rethink "life scripts.” Dream big and overcome everyday fears that keep you stuck.

I love the idea of trusting to seize opportunities, especially those that will benefit personal and professional growth, all while doing something you love.

• Are you being called to action, yet, you keep sitting on the fence?

• If you could do something Because You Can, what would it be?

• What transitions would need to take place for you to move forward?

We can stay on the other side of the fence, we can sit on it, or we can jump over. Which side do you want to stand or sit on? If you would like to jump the fence, figure out what that “because you can” thing is, want to change the status quo, or want to transition forward in life – I’m here.

With love,

Vonie

Look Back - Look Forward

Look Back - Look Forward

As a life coach, I’m always working on ways to help women achieve success both personally and professionally. With education and teaching being one of my top values, I need to impact and help others. To provide the best possible service to my clients and to help them achieve their dreams and goals is rewarding and makes my heart sing.

One of the workshops I have hosted the past two years does just that. It’s called Look Back/Look Forward, and this year we not only looked back on 2019, but we reflected on the last decade. The process is around what we learned, what we were proud of, what we accomplished versus what we lacked in, or didn’t do.

The entertaining part of the workshop this year was the horses. Elliott Horsepower Ranch, where the workshop was held, has a viewing room and arena perfect for our classroom. With the heat on and window open, the horses were poking their heads in the window and showing a lot of curiosity for the participants and providing support during coaching experiences.

Once done with the workshop's review portion, we dove into the next decade and what top goals to set for 2020. What goals would we set, what tools would we need to accomplish the goals, who do we have to become to achieve the goals? More questions - what character traits will you need, and what habits or skills do you need to develop or strengthen to make your dream happen?

I know so many questions, and not all of them easy to answer. It truly is a reflection and a mindset for growth.

One of the participants had recently relocated to a new barn and desired to achieve more horse experiences and create more friendships with like-minded horse ladies in 2020. We set time aside for a coaching session with Cody. He offered a great deal of love and support to her as she processed through creating new friendships. With the many work demands, how could she find a work/life balance that would give her the desired time she wanted with her horse? Together, we came up with some reasonable solutions and ways to overcome obstacles that might interfere.

Work/life balance seems to be a common thread with many of the women I coach. If you’re at all searching for some answers or still trying to figure out what you want this next decade to look like, talk to your horse. Let them be your coach.

Get into a round pen with your horse. Ask yourself some of the hard questions you don’t seem to have an answer for. Get centered in your body and start walking counterclockwise. Without demanding your horse follow or without a lead rope, start walking. Let him/her connect with you and help you facilitate the answers. Here’s how, if you aren’t honest with yourself and staying in your body and get out of your head, your horse won’t connect. If you do, they will follow. When you stop being centered and in your body, they will disconnect, step in front of you or do many other things to get your attention. Be with your horse and let them coach. Listen to the subtle cues they give you.

If you find yourself still not sure, reach out and let a coach help your horse facilitate the coaching process, or come on over to my barn and let Cody help me help you.

If you’d like some of the questions I provided during the workshop, reach out to me at vonie@atailofnewbeginnings.com; I’d be happy to send them over to you.

Happy New Year,

Vonie