9 Self-Care Tips to Nurture Your Spirit

In 2016 I had my first reading with a numerologist. Every year I would sit with her at the annual Touched by a Horse summit to get my reading, and each time, I was reminded that I needed to dive deeper into my connection with spirit. I had spent many years going to church and, at the time, believed that was enough.

I was wrong!

Although I understood the importance of spirituality, it still hadn’t sunk in. It wasn’t until much later that I realized how disconnected I was from my higher self. So, I searched for ways to bring a higher spirituality to my life. I certified in Eden Energy Medicine (level one), attended drumming circles, meditated, journaled, sought out a Shaman, walked, and more.

I was trying so hard, yet I wasn’t taming the monkey brain that kept me in a state of stress. I’m not saying those things don’t work because they do. The ingredient that I’d left out was FORGIVENESS.

Once I found forgiveness of self and let go of some old wounds, spiritual self-care took on a whole new feeling and connection with self.

So, this week I wanted to write to you about spiritual self-care, the seventh of the eight pillars of self-care I’ve been researching and writing about.

What Is Spiritual Self-Care?

Spiritual self-care is about connection. It’s a personal practice that connects you to your higher self, the real you! The practice of spiritual self-care improves overall health. It is easily practiced through meditation, journaling, nature, prayer, Yoga, gratitude journaling, mindfulness, religious practice, or anything else that lifts your spirit.

Why Is Spiritual Self-Care Important?

It quiets the mind and takes away the chatter that holds many in a state of stress. When the mind is quiet, the body becomes quiet, offering clarity, a sense of peace, and inner harmony. Spiritual self-care also provides health benefits, such as an improved emotional state, a more robust immune system, reduced risk of disease, improved self-confidence, and more.

Nurture Your Spirit —

Forgiveness — Holding on to past mistakes, grudges or resentment will make spiritual self-care challenging, so start here!

Prayer — If you are religious, spend time in prayer. Have conversations with God and let it all hang out. Prayer is a no-judgment zone.
Meditation — If you’ve never given it a try, do. With practice, it gets easier to sit still and let all thoughts and judgments go. You’ll love the benefits.

Gratitude — Gratitude goes a long way toward creating joy. It offers appreciation and a positive outlook on life.

Nature — Unplug from what keeps you indoors and get outside and experience what nature has to offer.

Journal — I highly recommend morning pages to dump whatever is on your mind. You can let go of so much this way. Leave it on the paper and walk away from what troubles you.

Connection — Having a community of friends and family with whom you can share ideas, support each other, laugh, and cry is essential to our human nature.

Yoga — The practice of Yoga not only works your body physically, but it encourages a deep connection within yourself.

Walking — One of the simplest things you can do. Unplug, go outside, and walk. Your body, mind, and spirit will appreciate it.

Other — Find what feels good, and you’ll find spiritual self-care!

As with any practice, spiritual self-care takes time, practice, and devotion to self-exploration. Give at least one of the items listed above a try and see how it goes. If it doesn’t feel like the right fit, move on to another one until you find that thing that brings you a sense of inner peace and harmony.

With love,
Vonie

 

P.S. For more self-care tips, head on over to my other blog posts.

8 Tips to Practice Financial Self-Care

When I was about seven years old, I remember walking into a local bank with my mom, piggy bank in hand, ready to open my first savings account. I felt a lot of pride knowing that I now had my own account. However, what I didn’t have was an education about the nuances of financial self-care. Later in life, I opened my first checking account at that same bank and was meticulous at keeping it balanced to the penny.

Fast forward to being a single mom raising two kids and working in the fitness industry. I found it difficult to save money and often lived above my means, as I wanted to give my kids more than I had as a child. Unfortunately, I started to experience money fears.

Their dad was great at providing for their sports and other activities as they grew up and in paying the support we’d agreed upon when we’d divorced. I did not take that for granted, and it did a lot to ease my financial concerns. However, despite the money I made and the
support for the kids, there still never seemed to be enough.

As the kids grew older and I went back to school to further my education in the fitness industry, I ended up with a major financial setback with a job loss and bankruptcy. At this low point in my financial self-care, I had hit a rock bottom with money shame, fear, and guilt.
What followed was a desire to learn more about money shame, my fear of money, and where the guilt was coming from.

Money Shame

Money shame usually starts in childhood. Parents don’t have a lot of money and have to say ‘no’ often to the wants and sometimes needs of their children. How the ‘no’ is delivered contributes to the shame a child will have for asking for what they want. Children don’t really understand what their parents are going through with money and, like myself, live beyond their means to afford to give their kids what they didn’t have. Also, how you show up in the world and the purchases you make are impacted through the lens
of money.

Here’s a short list of things that can also contribute to money shame —

Again, that’s a short list. Money shame comes in many different forms.

 

 

Money Fears — The overwhelming dread that you don’t have enough contributes to
anxiety, panic, depression, and in some cases, substance abuse. The shortlist above and many other things can contribute to these fears.

Money Dysmorphia — a paralyzing feeling of being poor even when you aren’t. It’s being afraid to spend money even if you’ve budgeted for something or have the money to make a purchase but can’t seem to let go and make the purchase. The mentality is “I’m broke.”

Money Guilt — How many times have I found myself saying, I feel guilty for spending ‘X’ amount of dollars on something when I either didn’t have enough money or that I should be saving what I did have? That’s money guilt.

 

So, if you or someone you know is experiencing shame, guilt, fear, or dysmorphia around money, here are some tips for changing your beliefs and getting out of the shame trap.

8 Tips to Practice Financial Self-Care

  1. Relationship — look at your relationship with money and your spending habits. What habits can you change? Example: I love iced green tea from Starbucks. I save more by making my own. I also allow myself to have one from Starbucks on occasion.
  2. Set a budget — no matter what your income level, you can set a budget.
  3. Set a plan — create a plan of action for obtaining more money, making more money, or saving It.
  4. Balances — check your balances regularly so you know what you have.
  5. Say no — if you know it will cause financial hardship, rethink the decision, and say no.
  6. Coaching — work with a money coach.
  7. Bill dates — review them and keep a calendar of when they are due. Or, put them on autopay.
  8. SMART Plan — Set financial goals using the SMART Plan. (For more information on a SMART Plan, head over to my blog, Goal Planning, It's So Simple)

Admittedly I’m still working on my relationship with money, so I can have better financial self-care. One of the books I’ve been reading and highly recommend is “Love Money, Money Loves You” by Sara McCrum. You can also watch this video, Love Money, Money Loves You: The Relaunch, here.

Want more ideas for self-care? Go here.

With Love,

Vonie

Emotional Self-Care: What is it and Tips to Create More of It

Over the last four weeks, I’ve written about four of the eight different types of self-care, and I believe that emotional self-care is by far the most important one. Here’s why—because when we can manage our emotions—we can do a better job with the other types of self-care, which in turn can help us lead happier and healthier lives.

What is Emotional Self-Care?

It’s the ability to identify through self-awareness what your emotions are telling you. What feelings are being generated from the emotions? It’s becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings and how best to handle them.

It is a part of total wellness that, if left unchecked, can wreak havoc on your mental and physical health; when emotional self-care is practiced, the benefits for overall health and wellness increase, giving way to a happier and healthier life.

Also, when you are emotionally aware and practicing emotional self-care, you are better able to handle other people’s emotions, which in turn can help with relationships.

Although feelings and emotions are often thought of as the same, they are not. So, before I dive into how you can manage emotional self-care, let’s go over the difference between emotions and feelings.

So, what’s the difference between emotions and feelings?

Emotions are originated in the body and are thought of as messages from the unconscious or subconscious mind. For example, objects, other people, smells, memories, the stories we create, etc., trigger sensations felt in the body, such as a racing heart, sweaty palms, tight chest, tension in the body, dizziness, shaky, etc.

Note: Emotions can be brought to the conscious mind through the self-awareness I discussed earlier, through therapy or coaching.

Feelings, on the other hand, are the reactions to emotions. Examples: A racing heart could be viewed as nervousness or fear of a situation, whereas someone else might experience the emotion differently as being excited about something they are about to do or just did.

A great article in Psychology Today gives an excellent overview of the difference between emotions and feelings, as well as some ideas on how to develop emotional awareness.

Read on for more ideas on how to develop and manage emotional self-care —

Acceptance — When you can accept your emotions, give yourself grace and not beat yourself up for your emotions, you are on your way to emotional self-care and self-love.

Tracking — Tracking your emotions can help you identify triggers to negative thinking patterns and thought processes, make better decisions, and manage your life more effectively.

Reframe — Reframing is taking the negative thoughts and thinking patterns and reframing them into a positive statement, so you can adjust the mindset and develop healthier self-talk. And reframing can go much deeper than that. Check it out here.

Create Positivity — A positive mindset can be created through journaling, reading books on emotional intelligence/self-care, listening to Podcasts, and working with a therapist or coach.

Respond versus React — Before you speak or do something you may later regret, slow down and listen to what your body is telling you. Make an informed decision about the situation and then respond.

Direction — Are you coachable? Can you follow directions from a therapist, a coach, a mentor, a good friend, etc., without becoming defensive or unwilling to make a shift or change?

Resilience — Become empathetic to yourself and others. It will go a long way in making your life healthier and happier.

Patience — Patience is a virtue our society is currently lacking. We could all benefit from a bit of patience for ourselves and others. Build a strong foundation with your emotional brain (the heart) and the thinking brain (the brain).

Gratitude — I’ve written this one time and time again for so many blogs and it’s just as beneficial here. When you shift the focus from what’s wrong in your life to what you are grateful for, you’ll be in a better headspace.

Move Your Body — Shifting the energy goes a long way in improving mood. Dance around the living room with some great music and dust the furniture while you’re at it. You’ll notice a boost in mood from seeing things sparkle and from the body generating a different kind of energy.

Hobbies — A hobby that you love, find relaxing, and sparks joy in your life will improve your emotional self-care by simply destressing and quieting your mind.

Laugh — It decreases stress, improves mood, and has positive effects on the immune system. Watch a funny movie, go to a live comedy event, or play a fun card game with your friends. Laughter is good medicine.

Ask for help — Sometimes we just can’t go it alone. Ask for help! Talk to a doctor, a counselor, a coach, or a good friend who can listen with empathy and help you find solutions to achieve emotional self-care.

We can create a strong foundation that will ultimately lead to a happier and healthier life when we have self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy for ourselves and others, and can listen and engage with others through good social skills.

Cheers to emotional self-care—give it a go and see how far you can go in creating a better life for yourself. Need some help. Check out my bi-weekly group coaching calls. The first month is free.

With love,
Vonie

Environmental Self-Care — Living Clean & Clutter Free

From the time I was a little kid well into adulthood, I’ve felt out of sorts when my personal environment wasn’t up to a certain standard of clean and organized. I know I’m not alone.

Studies have shown that our environment can significantly impact our mental and physical well-being.

Clutter Free – Some people seem to be less bothered by clutter. In contrast, others are highly annoyed by a cluttered environment and can find the clutter to restrict their ability to focus or their creativity. I’m one of them.

When your environment is cluttered, dirty, and unorganized, the response is often lowered self-esteem, moods, and even depression and anxiety can take hold.

If you’re like me, when clutter is cleared from your home or work environment, you’ll find yourself more productive, less agitated, and probably able to clear your mind to process information much better.

Here are other benefits to organizing your home, office, vehicle, storage, etc.

Time – when your items, such as keys and phone, have a resting place of their own, you won’t be spending a lot of time looking for them. Also, when things are more organized and cleaned regularly, it increases the time to do other things. I find that I also manage my time and other activities better when there isn’t clutter around me

Storage – when well organized, you’ll find you can comfortably get things in and out of cabinets and cupboards. You can also typically store more usable items and gain valuable storage space.

Purchases – you can save on purchases by not buying things you already have but can’t find.

Stress – decreases when you aren’t running around frantically looking for those lost keys, your wallet, or other misplaced items. Also, if you have guests coming over, you’ll feel less stress knowing your home offers a comfortable atmosphere.

Energy – it’s incredible how much more energy you’ll have when things are organized, clean, and quickly found.

Confidence – confidence levels increase when our lives are organized, clutter-free, and cleaned up, which often leads to more positive behavior patterns.

Of course, for those living with anxiety and depression, this can be a more arduous task than for others. The key is to start with a small area – a drawer or the front closet. Sometimes getting a friend to help will go a long way in helping you part with things cluttering your environment.

Start small and pick a more significant task once you’ve gained the confidence to do more. A box for giveaway items, a box for keeping things, a box for garbage, and a box for maybe items that work well.

How do you keep it clean and clutter-free?

Examples:

Mail — You bring the mail in, and instead of throwing it on the counter, open it. Then, put the recycled items in the recycle bin and put the bills in a now designated bill folder.

Laundry — Do smaller loads of laundry each day or every other day versus once a week. There’s less to fold and put away all at once.

Cooking — Clean up as you go. When you are done eating, clean up the dishes and kitchen right away.

Make Your Bed — Make your bed every morning. There is an entire psychology behind bed-making. Also, check out my YouTube video on bed-making. OMG, lol!

Dusting – My least favorite task. Turn on some good music and dance around while dusting. It does help.

Showers – I owned a cleaning business for 17 years. Fact! I use a product called Zep. It works! Spray it from top to bottom, use a non-scratch pad, scrub it in, leave it to sit while you clean the toilet, come back, and rinse it off. Just don’t stand in the shower with bare feet and clean it. If you have a window, open it.

Your psychological health is important, so taking steps toward cleaning things up and decluttering your environment will go a long way in helping your emotional well-being.

Want more help in decluttering? Find professional home organizers near you online, or jump in on my bi-weekly group coaching calls here and create a plan for getting started. The first month is free.

Happy cleaning,
Vonie

Personal Self-Care - Listen to Your Intuition

If you’ve read my last two blog posts, you’re aware of the two different types of self-care that I’ve written about so far. The first is social self-care and some barriers that can get in the way of our self-care routines. Then last week, I wrote about physical self-care and how if unattended, it can lead to health issues.

This week I want to bring awareness to personal self-care. There are similar qualities to the other two; however, personal self-care requires having conversations with yourself and engaging with what the heart desires versus taking a cycling class or jumping into the tub for a 10-minute soak.

When we stay present to ourselves and what we are presently doing, we can honor that place inside that says, “Hey, I’m enjoying this!” or maybe that voice says, “I don’t like this, so I think I’ll try something different.” Really, it’s about listening to and honoring who you are and what you want in life.

I have this amazing friend Laura, who does Happiness Coaching. When I attended one of her Happiness Retreats in Mexico in 2017, she taught me about what she calls Essence (an emotion, for example, gratitude) vs. Form (what we can touch).

So how does Essence vs. Form relate to personal care?

I’ll get to that, but first, I’ll share a quick story about something that happened today.

A woman who takes my class regularly brought her 84-year-old mother, who was visiting from out of town. She’d never done a reformer Pilates class before, only Mat Classes which she takes regularly.

When I was introduced to the mom, I thought, “I’m happy to meet this woman. She’s excited to be here.” I must also admit, I was a little worried that it would be too much for her. It wasn’t! As we spoke, I genuinely listened to her. I heard her words and the meaning behind them. I asked her questions and treated her as if she was a guest in my home. I asked her where she was visiting from, how long she’d be staying, what brought her across the country, etc. We connected on many levels, both cancer survivors and athletic, and fought to regain our athletic abilities after cancer treatments ended. I checked in on her regularly and helped when I saw she needed it. I stayed present to myself and her. When class was over, she walked over and thanked me for the class and said she was grateful that I was her first reformer teacher and that she would be looking for classes to take when she got back home to Georgia.

For both of us, her presence in my class was the Form. The Essence was the emotions that were sparked in both of us.

 

 

Personal self-care is about listening to your intuition and living in gratitude because that trumps everything. It’s about finding out who you really are and rocking it because the ripple effects of doing so make their way around the world.

So...

Listen — When you listen to yourself instead of being on autopilot, you are engaging in personal self-care.

Treat Yourself — Treat yourself to that 10-minute bath with candles, flowers, music, soft lighting, and oils. No rush; lay back and enjoy.

Know Yourself — Who are you really? What do you want in this lifetime? How do you want to show up for yourself?

Something New — Try something new, have some adventure, and create fun in your life.

Hobbies — What hobbies do you currently have? Do they light you up or drag you down? Tap into the Essence of what you’re doing and why; the rest will unfold from there.

Once upon a time, I thought of personal care as a bubble bath, and I don’t like taking bubble baths. So, they never worked for me. Today, I know that personal self-care is what I’ve been learning and working on within myself these past few years. I now know that my intuition doesn’t steer me wrong when I listen.

What are you doing for personal self-care?

As always, I’d love to hear how you’re doing, so drop me an email, and let's connect.

With love,
Vonie

 

P.S. Join me for a bi-monthly group coaching call. Your first month is free. Check it out here.

So, What Is Good Physical Self-Care

Last week, I wrote about barriers that keep people from a good self-care routine and how humans are social beings who need to integrate social self-care into their lives for greater physical and mental well-being. This week, I'm writing about physical self-care, one of the eight pillars of self-care, another component of the eight different types of self-care we can utilize to achieve optimal levels of health.

Before I go any further, let me share a story about my journey to self-care. I always thought I was taking good care of myself when I would get a Mani/Pedi, a massage, or spend time working out. These are all great things, but the truth is that I was neglecting other aspects of self-care that directly affected my health and those were much more important than getting my nails polished.

For years, teaching fitness was my life. I taught several classes a week, was a long-distance runner, and hit the gym on days I didn't teach. I rarely gave myself a break. I thought I was eating healthy, but my nutrition could have been better. I drank more Diet Pepsi than water, ate way too many processed foods loaded with sugar, and wasn't getting nearly enough protein.

I also needed more sleep; as an athlete, my body needed more sleep to recover. Also, because working out with others was my job, I had to stay up to date with trends and pay close attention to the participants, as their safety was my responsibility. And, like any good instructor, I was my participants' entertainment and cheerleading section. I loved every minute of it.

However, I often neglected taking care of myself the way I encouraged my students to do so. The bottom line is that my self-care was lacking in more ways than one.

So, what IS good physical self-care? Sound nutrition, a good night's sleep, rest when needed, and body movement.

Sleep – Studies have shown seven to nine hours per night to be the most beneficial. The comment, "I'll sleep when I'm dead," will get you that much less life. In addition, chronic sleep deprivation will yield serious side effects such as memory issues, mood changes, poor concentration, accidents, weight gain, low sex drive, poor performance, and high blood pressure. And if that wasn't enough, diabetes, heart attack, heart failure, and stroke risks also increase.

Nutrition – I've covered this topic in many emails and blog posts, but here's a recap: Eat more
 veggies, fruit, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats. Reduce sugar and processed foods. So, you don't like vegetables? Go back to the basics and eat what you like. (Reduce and eliminate sugar; I bet you'll find those veggies and fruit taste better!) Food for thought!

Rest – Need a break? Take one! Sit outside, enjoy the fresh air, and give yourself a moment to hang out in nature.

Movement – Movement lubricates the joints which we need regardless of age. Don't like to work out? Start walking! It's the easiest way to get movement into your day. Add one block a day onto your routine, and soon, you'll be walking farther. If walking is challenging for you because of medical limitations, swimming or chair exercises are great alternatives. The only excuses are the ones we make.

Here are some examples of physical self-care —

Or...

Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to but find something that will light you up and make you smile, bring joy to your life, ignite your passion for life, and make you feel good inside. If you do that long enough, that feeling will show on the outside. And don't wait until you love your body enough to start taking care of it.

I lacked self-care and ended up with a significant health issue. I've had to work at it and learn to put myself first. Now, I eat a balanced and nutritional diet, exercise regularly, and get more sleep each night, which contributes to a better quality of life.

As always, I'd love to hear from you, so drop me an email and let me know how you're doing with your physical self-care.

Lots of love,
Vonie

P.S. — You also have the chance to learn more about self-care with me on a live group coaching call. Your first month is my gift to you, so check it out here.