Are You Listening?

It was May of 2017; I took a new job and moved out of the area to work for a resort in another part of the state. Shortly after my move, I published a blog post titled "A Rite of Passage.”  The blog post was about my limiting beliefs and how I moved through them to stand up to my fears and the changes I'd made.

Although there were many good reasons why I had been looking for a new job within my career field as a health and fitness professional, those reasons didn't withstand the test of time or the instincts that told me not to take the job in the first place.

Accepting the position and realigning my career path brought excitement about the job offer and all that it entailed. However, my thinking brain took over, and I rationalized all the so-called “good” reasons. My heart told me otherwise and was not in alignment with my brain's way of thinking.

From the words of the British Poet Lord Byron, “There is no instinct like that of the heart.”

The good news, I tested the waters, dealt with my fears, and gave it my all; my heart was ready to bale on the resort and head back home.

I had trodden the murky waters, faced the unknown, dealt with my fears, learned a great deal about myself, so it was not all a loss, and I even found some peace along the way.

Bottom line, the job wasn’t anything that I thought it was going to be, and I found myself realigning my goals once again and preparing for another marathon of changes.

So, after what felt like an eternity, I m

I moved back to my hometown of Vancouver, WA, to another new apartment, another job (not in my field), and, most importantly, to my family.

What was it finally that helped me to recognize my heart's instincts and not just stay stuck in my brain's overwhelming power or sense of control?

  1. I dove deeper into my heart.
  2. I listened to what it was asking. Not allowing my emotions or thoughts (brain) to override my intuitive senses.
  3. I checked in with values. Were my values in alignment with this job?
  4. Was the job meeting my temperament type?

I was already on my way to making the best decision I could make for myself when I came back home for a quick visit, notice the word “home.” I could never think of my new place as home. The visit was just after the shootings in Vegas. When I arrived for my visit, my granddaughter ran and jumped into my arms, wrapped her arms and legs around me, placed her head on my shoulder, and said, I missed you, Nana.”

Sold - My family was more important than any job I could take anywhere.

That act of love gave me the kick I needed to change gears and head back to where I belonged.

It was not about feelings or emotions; it was about instinct and the perfect timing of love showing me my path had taken a detour, and I could get it back on track.

  1. What holds you back or keeps you from moving forward?
  2. What do you instinctively know to be true, yet you struggle to trust your instincts to guide you?

What I am asking is: Are you listening?

If you would like to explore this idea of trusting your heart's instincts, you can reach out to me, and I would be happy to assist in listening to your HEART!

With Love,

Vonie

The Fourth Grade Teacher

During my training to become an Equine Gestalt Coach (Life Coach), I worked on my values and what I believed to be true about them. Those beliefs drove my decision making, my behaviors, and judgments of people and events that I held to be most important in life.

Although I knew what most inspired me, I did not know what my values were until I began the process of looking at them and understanding the meaning behind them. It was an eye-opening experience, and I found I could use my values to help shape my future. To use them as a guide to steer me in directions that will be most beneficial versus detrimental to what I want to accomplish.
Here’s what I knew about myself before the sleuthing process began.

  1. I work best for myself or in institutions where I have the freedom to act and make decisions that I know will benefit the majority of the business. Working for other people who want to undermine or control my decision-making process and keep tabs on me puts me in a frame of “hell no.”
  2. The health and fitness industry played and still does a significant career role in my life.
  3. Teaching, guiding, leading, and influencing became my life’s work. I then transferred what I learned from my previous career in the fitness field to coaching people in a whole different and dynamic way.

I recognized that education/teaching was in my top five values, where the fourth-grade teacher comes in.

There I was, in front of the class, erasing the board and clearing it for me to teach. Palms sweaty with chalk in hand, I addressed the class. The feeling of nervousness and excitement are physiologically the same. I was both. My belly churning, my thoughts racing, a desire to run for the door, and yet, I stood there and started to speak. The words were shaky and then got more relaxed as I felt me move into the topic. I felt scared and on top of the world all at the same time. Thus it began, I wanted to teach, educate, and be at the head of the class as a leader.

When I started my career as a fitness professional, I once again stood at the class's head.

What an amazing career! The best part of the many years of teaching were the students. I witnessed the transformations that took place not only in their physical appearance but also in their emotional state.

So, how do Gestalt Therapy and Horses help transform learning about ourselves?

As prey animals, horses are highly intuitive to their surroundings. They are intuitive to our thoughts and energy. They can read our body language, sense our energy, and practically read us like an open book. They know when we are not speaking our truth inside or outside of ourselves. They are natural healers. Horses allow us to be “In the Moment.” We can be a human being versus a human doing. Being in the moment can help unlock buried emotions, states of being and bring us back to a place of healing. We can find clarity, self-empowerment, and move towards action.

With Love,

Vonie

A Rite of Passage

There came a time when I had to toughen myself up to what was. To remember the place and time I was living in was “For Now.” It wasn’t permanent. The situation would improve, so I dug deep into the emotions that fueled my pain and hung on for a wild ride.

That “Wild Ride” was around changes I had made in my life. Not just any little change like changing the color of nail polish. It was significant. It was a place where the waters are dark and murky; the unknown is looming around the corner. That place – where the uncertainty lies – a place where courage is needed to survive the transition. I found it essential to remind myself that crying was okay, but screaming, “what did I do to myself?” was not okay.

Because, to move forward and get out of the uncertainty, I needed to ask myself better questions.

Questions like –

How can I make this situation better?

What am I grateful for at this moment in time, for today?

What can I do NOW to relieve the pain?

Time would ease the pain, and my ability to manifest how I wanted things to be was strong. I just had to tap into that and trust the process.

It was not the first time I had moved and made a career change within my field. It was not the first time I felt lonely, sad, longing for family, friends, and all things familiar. All the people and places that brought certainty to my life were in another part of the state. I was in the process of shedding the old and trying on the new.

Boy, was I trying on the new!

I dove in deep with the new job, so much so that I worked endlessly. It was easy to do because I had no one to go home with or for. The busier I stayed, the less I felt uncertain. And, the more pain, I avoided.

I liken all of this transition much to running a marathon. You start out running three miles, then five, and before you know it, you are running ten miles. Ten miles that you never dreamed you could do. Next thing you know, a robust distance of fifteen and then eighteen miles is part of the routine. The final training run; twenty-one miles, the cut off just before the race. Then race day comes, and you push through those last 5.2 miles. Then sweet victory as you cross the finish line.

With arms extended to the sky, a smile on your face, the announcer calls out your bib number and name, the greeter on the other side of the finish line telling you, great job. You did it; you are all done.

It is a sweet feeling of accomplishment. All that hard work paid off; you made it. Next come recovery and the setting of yet another goal.

What race will I run next?

What dream will I realize?

What do I want next in life?

Running a marathon is a “Rite of Passage.” It is a place where transformation happens. You relinquish control, uncertain if you can achieve the final victory but holding a belief that you can execute the race. It is where you have to put on the game face and tough it out, knowing the only thing you can control is putting in the training miles.

You gather a tribe of like-minded people around you and persevere. The transition from being a novice runner to joining the ranks of those that have gone before requires dedication and newfound strength to make it across the finish line.

So, seven weeks into that transformational time, I was the only one who could set the pace. I gathered my tribe and found support and encouragement to persevere. I found the key to victory and crossed the finish line. It is not easy to let go of control or to trust the process.

What life transitions might you be facing?

Is there something in your life left unfinished?

Do you have a tribe that can offer the support needed to finish the race to cross the finish line?

If you would like to finish the race, cross the finish line, or find that new goal – I’m here.

With much love,

Vonie

Overcoming Obstacles

Like most New Year's, 2017 was about overcoming obstacles, making a fresh start, and filled with optimism and a sense of organization. Then a cold blast of winter hit our area, leaving the city shut down. Cars were abandoned along the roads and highways, stuck in their driveways, and parking garages left many people feeling like a hostage and some happy to have the excuse to stay home. I drive a 4x4 truck that could handle just about anything, and it did, except for the hill outside the apartment complex that had turned into a sheet of ice. As I slid down the hill, I eased the nose end of my truck toward the curb where the deep snow remained. The deep snow helped me to gain the traction I needed and safely approach the stop sign.

Overcoming obstacles became the theme as the cold weather continued for days here in the Pacific Northwest, and finally, relief came in the form of rain, and more rain. Temperatures increased, and the snow has melted from the streets.

What happened to me during this time was a feeling of dis-ease. I felt a sense of loss, fatigue, and some old fears surfaced. I found myself wanting to hibernate and eat more carb-loaded foods laden with the white powdery stuff of sugar, creating a host of opportunities to overcome obstacles. Egad! I longed for warmer weather, the sunshine, and some peace of mind.

Although I started not being in the best of mind frames, I decided it was perfect for taking advantage of being at home. I cleared out some old papers, did some more work on my website, and a few other things for my coaching business that kept me busy. I permitted myself, which was tough; to relax and enjoy some television, read a book that was just for fun, and sleep in a bit longer.

I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that obstacles can and do get in the way of our optimism, dreams, goals, and desires, and it's what we do with these barriers that will make or break us. Life is full of temporary setbacks. It's just a given.

What can or will you do to get through the obstacles?

Here are FIVE actions that helped me overcome some obstacles during a recent arctic adventure in the Pacific Northwest.

Breathe – Take the time to think about the situation and then figure out what you can take control of and then act on it. Movement is essential! If we find ourselves stuck and frozen, the obstacle will eventually feel bigger and possibly overwhelm us even more. So, get moving, even if it's only to clean out a drawer.

Options –What are your options? List them all. Check the ones that seem achievable and cross off the ones that aren't. Opening our minds up to the possibilities can bring mental clarity and a fresh perspective, along with new ideas on how to overcome any obstacle. The more options you can give yourself, the quicker you'll overcome the obstacle.

Acceptance – Wishing for things to be different can only take you so far. Denying that the problem exists can worsen the problem. Possible solutions, answers, and growth opportunities are left unexplored. Truly, the best option is to acknowledge the circumstances, accept them as they are, and allow that state-of-mind to assist in opening the windows and doors of solutions. Once you’ve made your list of options, you can take small steps towards achieving the goal. Doing so will help keep you moving forward and can take away that sense of overwhelming circumstances. Think bite-sized pieces of a project, and you’ll be on your way to achieving your goals, as the bite-sized pieces become bigger and bigger chunks accomplished. Leaving you feeling a sense of accomplishment.

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the
consequences of any misfortune – William James

Small steps – Once you’ve made your list of possible solutions, you can take small steps towards achieving the goal. Doing so will help keep you moving forward and can take away that sense of overwhelming circumstances.  Think bite-sized pieces of a project, and you’ll be on your way to achieving your goals, as the bite-sized pieces become bigger and bigger chunks accomplished. Leaving you feeling a sense of accomplishment.

Don’t Quit – Lastly, don’t quit! Throwing in the towel too soon will never bring the rewards of accomplishing the goal. Massive action is what it takes to overcome the greatest obstacles of life! Be persistent, persevere in the wake of fear, and commit ourselves to stay consistent with what you desire. As the Nike slogan says, “Just Do It”!

If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up
 against the odds – Jesse Jackson

Ultimately, obstacles are life's lessons thrown at us. Lessons teach us about ourselves. They can strengthen our resolve, boost us up for the lifelong journey ahead, and help us to achieve success in anything we set our sights on having.

Solutions, answers, and opportunities for growth are left unexplored. Truly, the best option is to acknowledge the circumstances and accept them as they are, and allow that state-of-mind to assist in opening the doors and windows toward change.

Food: Why Do I Stuff Myself?

Teaching fitness for more than 25 years, I worked out a lot and ate healthily. Overeating was reserved for holiday feasts and social gatherings. I got away with the “scale shock” because I was working out and shedding those excess calories.

On occasion, “overeating” just happened! A family favorite, hamburger gravy over mashed potatoes, forced me to undo my jeans' top button. The “bloat” lasted all night long. I over-ate every time I prepared that meal.

Why? I cooked lots of food and regularly had left-overs. Was I afraid there wouldn’t be any left or feared someone would get to the leftovers before I did?

I have crossed the mid-fifties mark. Those “extra calories” linger! So, knowing that, why do I still sometimes overeat?

Why Do You Stuff Yourself? –

It’s not Christmas or Thanksgiving, where second pieces of pie or overly large helpings of mashed potatoes are routine. It’s an ordinary day, and you stuff yourself.

Why do we stuff ourselves?

Our Food Journey –

Food is much more than fuel for some. Food can comfort, reduce stress, reduce boredom, calm nerves, numb anxiety, anger, sadness, etc. Eating is a way to hide from the world or ourselves. Some forget to eat, and some refuse to eat, fearing weight gain.

Emotional Eating –

Emotional eating is destructive, period! It fosters self-doubt, lowers self-esteem, takes our power, creates disease, and disconnects us from body/mind and spirit. Emotional eating is a numbing agent! Stress is the norm in our hectic lives. Manufacturers create quicker, more highly processed foods. Genetically modified ingredients (GMO’s) are nearly unavoidable in our diets, and sugar is in nearly everything.  Obesity is on the rise. So it is SUGAR CRAVING!

To Stop Stuffing! –

Of course, the old saying “easier said than done” applies.

Changing eating habits isn’t merely about what you eat. What you purchase, what you cook, and how. Processed foods are loaded with additives designed to push your “eat more” button.  Our cultural norm is “super-size.”

Social Gatherings –

According to Food Today, “Social influences on food intake refer to the impact that one or more persons have on the eating behavior of others, either direct or indirect, either conscious or subconscious. Even when eating alone, food choice is influenced by social factors because attitudes and habits develop through interaction with others.

Research has shown that we eat more with our friends and family than when we eat alone, and the quantity of food increases as the number of fellow diners grows.” (1)

 The Brain –

Hypothalamus produces many essential hormones. Hormones govern functions such as THIRST, HUNGER, mood, sleep, sex drive, and temperature regulation.

“Amygdala is an important part of the limbic system. The limbic system is comprised of various brain structures located above the brain stem. It is highly involved with our emotions, feelings of pleasure, and memories. The amygdala is involved with the processing of emotions, memories, and motivation.” (2)

Hormones –

Ghrelin, a hormone produced by the hypothalamus and the stomach, increases before a meal and decreases after eating. This hormone signals hunger and is associated with food cravings. Leptin does the opposite. It signals fullness. It also regulates energy expenditure and intake. It is produced by adipose (fat) tissue and binds to specific receptors of the hypothalamus. (3)

When Ghrelin (hunger) and Leptin (satiation) hormones are out of balance, the body's signal for fuel and regulation of energy expenditure and intake is out of balance.

Herbs & Supplements –

Controlling hunger is BIG business! It is tempting to hope herbs and supplements will stimulate the appetite or suppress it, avoiding weight gain.

Remember, not all claims are backed up by research. The FDA regulates dietary supplements, but manufacturers (typically drug companies) do NOT have to prove the safety or effectiveness of supplements they sell. It’s a good idea to discuss using supplements with your health care professional.

Magnesium –

Thyroid Nation writes, “Magnesium Can Rescue Your Unbalanced Hormones.”

“Mag lowers blood sugar. Magnesium is so effective at sensitizing the insulin receptor that I refer to as our ‘natural metformin.’

Insulin control means fewer sugar cravings. Healthy insulin sensitivity is important for weight loss and PCOS, and it prevents osteoporosis.” (4)

One Final Bit of Information –

Dr. David Kessler, the author of The End of Overeating, On Why We Can’t Stop Eating, clearly believes that –

ALL culprits in stimulating food intake. There isn’t room in this blog to write more on his work, but I urge you to watch his YouTube videos and READ HIS BOOK.

  1. “Why we eat what we eat: social and economic determinants of food choice,” last modified in October 2004 – Food Today

http://www.eufic.org/article/en/health-and-lifestyle/food-choice/artid/social-economic-determinants-food-choice/

  1. “Amygdala's Role in Emotion: Function, Overview, Chapter 7 / Lesson 19”, last modified on (no date is given) – Study.com

http://study.com/academy/lesson/amygdala-role-in-emotion-function-lesson-quiz.html

  1. “The Role of the Hypothalamus in Hunger,” last modified on March 27 – hellolife.net

http://www.hormone.org/hormones-and-health/brainy-hormones

  1. “Magnesium Can Rescue Your Unbalanced Hormones,” last modified on April 28, 2016 – Thyroidnation.com

http://thyroidnation.com/magnesium-can-rescue-unbalanced-hormones/

H2O: Are You Drinking Enough Water?

Water the “Life Force” of our bodies. We can survive without food for sustained periods of time. Without water, we will perish quickly!

Some Facts –

Our bodies are made up of 50-78% water depending on your age and sex. Infants, percentage-wise, is made up of more water than adults. Women have less water, percentage-wise, than men.

According to H.H. Mitchell, Journal of Biological Chemistry 158, our heart and brain are composed of 75% water, while our lungs are about 83% water. The skin is 64% water, our muscles and kidneys make up 79%, and our bones contain 31% water. (1)

What water does for us –

What if we don’t get enough water? –

According to Randall K. Packer, a biology professor at George Washington University, there are many variable factors to determine a person’s survival time.

“For example, a child left in a hot car or an athlete exercising hard in hot weather can dehydrate, overheat and die in a period of a few hours.” (2)

Other factors, such as vomiting, diarrhea, and diminished sweat production, are also dangerous. Sweating too much reduces the blood volume, quickly contributing to severe dehydration or death.

If not faced with extreme conditions, the likelihood of survival without water is, on average 3-days.

Signs of Dehydration –

Mild dehydration:

Moderate dehydration:

Severe dehydration:

Shock is the final stage of dehydration. The blood pressure drops, and death soon follows.

How much water should you drink & when to drink it? –

According to Dr. F. Batmanghelidj, M.D, “To better determine how much water you need each day, divide your body weight in half. The answer is the approximate number of water ounces you should drink daily. It would help if you drank half of your body weight in ounces. If you weigh 200 pounds, you should drink 100 ounces’ water (3.13 quarts, 2.98 liters, or 10-12 cups of water a day). If you weigh closer to 100 pounds, you will need only about 50 ounces of water or about four 12-ounce glasses daily.

Individuals who are physically active or live in hot climates may need to drink more.” (3)

Tips for drinking more water –

Can you over hydrate? –

The average person will more than likely not over-hydrate themselves. However, the kidneys cannot excrete excess water during intense exercise. The excess water then moves into the cells, including the brain. The results could be fatal.

According to Dr. F. Batmanghelidj, M.D, “It is essential you balance your sodium intake with your water consumption. Take 1/4 teaspoon of salt per quart of water - every 4-5 glasses of water. Be sure to get sea salt. The best is Celtic sea salt or Himalayan sea salt, both of which are readily available at any health food store.” (4)

The bottom line is –

We cannot live without water. We do not function well without adequate amounts of water in our daily living. Staying hydrated is very healing and can prevent many medical issues, such as headaches and joint pain.

For more information on the “Life Force” and the “Healing Benefits” of water. I recommend reading Dr. F. Batmanghelidj, “The Water Cure.”

http://www.watercure.com/index.html

  1. “The chemical composition of the adult human body and its bearing on the biochemistry” last modified May 1, 1945, http://www.jbc.org/content/158/3/625.full.pdf+html
  2. “How long can a person survive without having water,” last modified December 9, 2002, http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-long-can-the-average/
  3. "The water cure – frequently asked questions, last modified 2008 http://www.watercure.com/faq.html#howmuch.
  4. "The water cure – frequently asked questions, last modified 2008 http://www.watercure.com/faq.html#howmuch