8 Benefits of Group Coaching

Unlike any other time in history, the world we live in today offers many opportunities for learning, growth, and development.

We can watch videos, listen to podcasts, attend workshops and lectures on zoom, read books from great teachers, such as Brené Brown, and so much more.

Another way to learn, grow, and develop yourself is through the group coaching process.

In the case of my 12-week online group coaching program, One Size Fits None; it looks like this —

  1. Participants bring their life experiences to the group and develop deep connections with the other participants knowing they are not alone on their journey toward creating a healthier lifestyle.
  2. The coaching and group support offers a greater likelihood of success in achieving the goals the participants set for themselves.
  3. When there are more eyes and ears on a situation, the knowledge base expands, allowing for a greater perspective in finding solutions to difficulties.
  4. A culture for continued learning and creative thinking develops, which drives participants to a greater level of personal development.
  5. Participants develop greater listening skills when others share their stories.
  6. With each success, participants learn to trust that they can finally achieve their desire to live healthier lives, and the group celebrates with them.
  7. Doing things solo isn’t always fun, so a group offers the benefit of sharing the journey, building relationships, and having fun simultaneously.
  8. The cost of group coaching is a fraction of the cost of private one-on-one coaching, so it offers excellent value for the offer.

As a coach who facilitates group coaching around a topic that often fosters shame and guilt, I am honored to have witnessed some amazing transformations with the participants I’ve worked with. Their journeys inspire me to continue supporting them in a discovery process to uncover their relationship with food, exercise, and health.

Below is a recent Facebook post (with permission to share) from a previous One Size Fits None group coaching client.

 

This was not my heaviest, but this is a before and after of my weight loss journey! 325 down. I still have more to go, but I’m on my way!! The program that helped me the most was “One Size Fits None “! I worked on myself from the inside out”! I’m thinking of doing the program again to keep me going forward! Come do it with me! All on zoom! Not just about weight loss but about feeling and being healthier. Body, mind, and spirit!! I HATE having my picture taken, much less sharing it with people. I get that I’m beautiful, no matter what size I am!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If living a healthier life is important to you, join me for some group coaching through One Size Fits None, my twice-monthly group calls. Or, as Collette did, schedule a call to learn more about my One Size Fits None program.

With Love,

Vonie

Cut the Rope & Choose Your Own Adventure

Writing about the eight pillars of self-care these past few weeks has been a fun experience. It not only helped me see where there were holes in my own self-care routine but researching each one also gave me even more tools to help my coaching clients. I love it when that happens!

After writing the series and preparing for this newsletter, I found myself thinking about how we get to choose our own adventures with self-care and life.

And then, yesterday morning, while having breakfast with a friend, I realized our conversation related perfectly to today's topic:

Choose Your Own Adventure —

A series of children's books, Choose Your Own Adventure, takes the reader on a journey where they get to choose their own adventure by selecting a specific role to play. It could be a pirate, a doctor, or another character or profession. Once they've read some pages and decided which role they will play, they are guided further along the path with different pages and more options. Eventually, they arrive at the end of their adventure. Throughout the series of 184 books, there was a wide range of endings (from 7 to 44) that the reader could come to. Of course, once the reader has read one ending, they can go back and pick another adventure and continue reading the book.

Unfortunately, our lives aren't a series of books with different endings.

Or are they?

 

Just because you start life one way doesn't mean you must continue that same path. Take, for example, an alcoholic who has lost their job, family, and friends. They can decide to make significant changes that would improve the quality of their life, regain employment, mend relationships with their loved ones, and build a foundation for solid friendships. They've changed the narrative, and the story will end much differently than the direction it had headed.

Another example is the person who spent most of their life living an unhealthy lifestyle only to be faced with a threatening health issue. Again, the story is bleak and won't go so well if a transition doesn't take place. They can choose to continue the path they are on or take the steps necessary to reverse the health crisis.

From the moment we put our feet on the floor in the morning to putting our heads on the pillow, we make decisions. We decide what to eat, what to wear, how long we'll brush our teeth, which way to drive to work, etc. In Psychology Today, it is suggested that we make 35,000 choices per day. Wow!

Reaction Versus Response —

We are also faced with opportunities to respond to or react to situations daily. Responses come from self-awareness, where the conscious mind works with the unconscious mind to analyze problems. It allows time to consider all aspects of a situation and the ripple effect your decisions will have on you and others.

A reaction, on the other hand, is quick and without thought. It comes from the unconscious mind. No time or effort is put into how the reaction will affect your life or others. Want more info on the topic of response versus reaction? Here's another Psychology Today article.

When it comes to nutritional health, far too many people react versus respond. Case in point, my good friend Pamela and I spend a lot of time at the barn together, and earlier this summer, one of us would say, "do you want ice cream?" There's no stop and pause moment for either one of us; the next thing we know, we're getting ice cream despite having sworn off too many carbs.

Rumination and The Chained Elephant Syndrome —

Have you ever heard the story of the baby elephant that has one of its legs tied to a post? The baby elephant becomes conditioned to the idea that it can't break the rope and wander off. As it ages, despite its size and strength, it believes it is still unable to break free. So, the elephant's mind holds it to the post.

Unfortunately, it can be the same with humans. Instead of breaking free and choosing their own adventure, they continue ruminating about the past. As a result, their mind becomes chained, letting their past experiences shape their future.

 

If we believe we can't do something, we become stuck and often decide not to give whatever that thing is (fill in the blank) another try. We keep the roadblocks in place.

I've seen this repeatedly with clients who come into my One Size Fits None program. They have tried to lose weight, eat healthy, and exercise, only to give up. Then they decide to give it another shot, break free of old patterns, and change the adventure. It's exciting to see the rope break free and the changes begin.

If you are tied to a rope, give it one more try and break it. Choose a new adventure. You'll be happy you did.

With Love,
Vonie

12 Tips to Boost Intellectual Self-Care

We are near the end of August, and it feels like summer has just started here in the Pacific Northwest. Yet, the kids will be heading back to school soon, and summer will be nearing the end. Honestly, I’m not ready for the topic of self-care to be over, so I’m doing something I’ve not done before. I’m going LIVE on Facebook tomorrow, August 19, at 2:30 PDT, and talking about self-care.

I’d love it if you could join me. If you can make it, mark your calendar and head to Vonie Kalich Coaching on Facebook when it’s time.

Okay, now on to today’s topic – Intellectual Self-Care.

Intellectual Self-Care —

Like physical, personal, environmental, emotional, financial, and spiritual, intellectual self-care is essential to our overall health, brain, and mind.

Let me explain the brain/mind part first —

Although the brain and mind are often referred to interchangeably, they are very different from each other. The brain is matter and part of our physical body, while the mind reaches far beyond anything physical. We can’t touch it!

The brain, like a computer, stores information. However, the brain is capable of much more and has far greater intelligence than any computer. And like a computer, the brain needs to be upgraded with new software. The software is intellectual self-care.

What is intellectual self-care, and why is it important?

Intellectual self-care is taking the time to stimulate the brain with new information. When the brain is processing new information and trying new things, it broadens a person’s awareness and enriches their mind. When we open it up to curiosity, we learn new things. We can also unlearn things that don’t serve us well.

When we know more, we can do more.

Scientific American has a great article on how much storage capacity the brain has. A mind-blowing 2.5 petabytes (I didn’t even know the word until I read the article). That’s a million gigabytes. Check it out here.

So, the next time you hear someone call themselves stupid, don’t believe them. However, intellectual intelligence also comes down to how much we want to learn. It’s not that we aren’t capable. When the mind is healthy, the foundation for overall health is stronger.

 

How to stimulate and build your intellectual self-care — (new software)

 

1. Reading – Reading is a great way to expand the mind and learn new things. It doesn’t have to be work-related.

2. Puzzles – physically putting a puzzle together stimulates the brain. Puzzles that challenge your thinking and vocabulary will do the same.

3. Museum – There is so much history to learn in a museum.

4. Art – the practice of doing art in any form works wonders for our intellectual self-care and many other aspects of self-care.

5. Podcasts – If you’ve never listened to a Podcast, give it a try. Podcasts are an excellent resource for learning.

6. YouTube – What can’t you learn on YouTube?

7. Hobbies – Learn a new language, play a new sport, etc.

8. School – Go back to school or take a community education course.

9. Films – documentaries are great for learning new things.

10. Events – Attend an event around a subject you want to explore.

11. Teach – Teaching others can broaden your expertise on a subject matter, even if you are thoroughly versed in it.

12. Talking – widen your view and listen to what others have to say. We will often learn something new if we listen more than we talk.

Find new things for your brain to do. Doing so will help you sharpen not only the brain but the mind, and you’ll feel accomplished by growing in more areas of your life.

With love,
Vonie

P.S. — Want to learn more about self-care? Join me for a bi-monthly group coaching call. Your first month is my gift to you, so check it out here.

9 Self-Care Tips to Nurture Your Spirit

In 2016 I had my first reading with a numerologist. Every year I would sit with her at the annual Touched by a Horse summit to get my reading, and each time, I was reminded that I needed to dive deeper into my connection with spirit. I had spent many years going to church and, at the time, believed that was enough.

I was wrong!

Although I understood the importance of spirituality, it still hadn’t sunk in. It wasn’t until much later that I realized how disconnected I was from my higher self. So, I searched for ways to bring a higher spirituality to my life. I certified in Eden Energy Medicine (level one), attended drumming circles, meditated, journaled, sought out a Shaman, walked, and more.

I was trying so hard, yet I wasn’t taming the monkey brain that kept me in a state of stress. I’m not saying those things don’t work because they do. The ingredient that I’d left out was FORGIVENESS.

Once I found forgiveness of self and let go of some old wounds, spiritual self-care took on a whole new feeling and connection with self.

So, this week I wanted to write to you about spiritual self-care, the seventh of the eight pillars of self-care I’ve been researching and writing about.

What Is Spiritual Self-Care?

Spiritual self-care is about connection. It’s a personal practice that connects you to your higher self, the real you! The practice of spiritual self-care improves overall health. It is easily practiced through meditation, journaling, nature, prayer, Yoga, gratitude journaling, mindfulness, religious practice, or anything else that lifts your spirit.

Why Is Spiritual Self-Care Important?

It quiets the mind and takes away the chatter that holds many in a state of stress. When the mind is quiet, the body becomes quiet, offering clarity, a sense of peace, and inner harmony. Spiritual self-care also provides health benefits, such as an improved emotional state, a more robust immune system, reduced risk of disease, improved self-confidence, and more.

Nurture Your Spirit —

Forgiveness — Holding on to past mistakes, grudges or resentment will make spiritual self-care challenging, so start here!

Prayer — If you are religious, spend time in prayer. Have conversations with God and let it all hang out. Prayer is a no-judgment zone.
Meditation — If you’ve never given it a try, do. With practice, it gets easier to sit still and let all thoughts and judgments go. You’ll love the benefits.

Gratitude — Gratitude goes a long way toward creating joy. It offers appreciation and a positive outlook on life.

Nature — Unplug from what keeps you indoors and get outside and experience what nature has to offer.

Journal — I highly recommend morning pages to dump whatever is on your mind. You can let go of so much this way. Leave it on the paper and walk away from what troubles you.

Connection — Having a community of friends and family with whom you can share ideas, support each other, laugh, and cry is essential to our human nature.

Yoga — The practice of Yoga not only works your body physically, but it encourages a deep connection within yourself.

Walking — One of the simplest things you can do. Unplug, go outside, and walk. Your body, mind, and spirit will appreciate it.

Other — Find what feels good, and you’ll find spiritual self-care!

As with any practice, spiritual self-care takes time, practice, and devotion to self-exploration. Give at least one of the items listed above a try and see how it goes. If it doesn’t feel like the right fit, move on to another one until you find that thing that brings you a sense of inner peace and harmony.

With love,
Vonie

 

P.S. For more self-care tips, head on over to my other blog posts.

8 Tips to Practice Financial Self-Care

When I was about seven years old, I remember walking into a local bank with my mom, piggy bank in hand, ready to open my first savings account. I felt a lot of pride knowing that I now had my own account. However, what I didn’t have was an education about the nuances of financial self-care. Later in life, I opened my first checking account at that same bank and was meticulous at keeping it balanced to the penny.

Fast forward to being a single mom raising two kids and working in the fitness industry. I found it difficult to save money and often lived above my means, as I wanted to give my kids more than I had as a child. Unfortunately, I started to experience money fears.

Their dad was great at providing for their sports and other activities as they grew up and in paying the support we’d agreed upon when we’d divorced. I did not take that for granted, and it did a lot to ease my financial concerns. However, despite the money I made and the
support for the kids, there still never seemed to be enough.

As the kids grew older and I went back to school to further my education in the fitness industry, I ended up with a major financial setback with a job loss and bankruptcy. At this low point in my financial self-care, I had hit a rock bottom with money shame, fear, and guilt.
What followed was a desire to learn more about money shame, my fear of money, and where the guilt was coming from.

Money Shame

Money shame usually starts in childhood. Parents don’t have a lot of money and have to say ‘no’ often to the wants and sometimes needs of their children. How the ‘no’ is delivered contributes to the shame a child will have for asking for what they want. Children don’t really understand what their parents are going through with money and, like myself, live beyond their means to afford to give their kids what they didn’t have. Also, how you show up in the world and the purchases you make are impacted through the lens
of money.

Here’s a short list of things that can also contribute to money shame —

Again, that’s a short list. Money shame comes in many different forms.

 

 

Money Fears — The overwhelming dread that you don’t have enough contributes to
anxiety, panic, depression, and in some cases, substance abuse. The shortlist above and many other things can contribute to these fears.

Money Dysmorphia — a paralyzing feeling of being poor even when you aren’t. It’s being afraid to spend money even if you’ve budgeted for something or have the money to make a purchase but can’t seem to let go and make the purchase. The mentality is “I’m broke.”

Money Guilt — How many times have I found myself saying, I feel guilty for spending ‘X’ amount of dollars on something when I either didn’t have enough money or that I should be saving what I did have? That’s money guilt.

 

So, if you or someone you know is experiencing shame, guilt, fear, or dysmorphia around money, here are some tips for changing your beliefs and getting out of the shame trap.

8 Tips to Practice Financial Self-Care

  1. Relationship — look at your relationship with money and your spending habits. What habits can you change? Example: I love iced green tea from Starbucks. I save more by making my own. I also allow myself to have one from Starbucks on occasion.
  2. Set a budget — no matter what your income level, you can set a budget.
  3. Set a plan — create a plan of action for obtaining more money, making more money, or saving It.
  4. Balances — check your balances regularly so you know what you have.
  5. Say no — if you know it will cause financial hardship, rethink the decision, and say no.
  6. Coaching — work with a money coach.
  7. Bill dates — review them and keep a calendar of when they are due. Or, put them on autopay.
  8. SMART Plan — Set financial goals using the SMART Plan. (For more information on a SMART Plan, head over to my blog, Goal Planning, It's So Simple)

Admittedly I’m still working on my relationship with money, so I can have better financial self-care. One of the books I’ve been reading and highly recommend is “Love Money, Money Loves You” by Sara McCrum. You can also watch this video, Love Money, Money Loves You: The Relaunch, here.

Want more ideas for self-care? Go here.

With Love,

Vonie

Emotional Self-Care: What is it and Tips to Create More of It

Over the last four weeks, I’ve written about four of the eight different types of self-care, and I believe that emotional self-care is by far the most important one. Here’s why—because when we can manage our emotions—we can do a better job with the other types of self-care, which in turn can help us lead happier and healthier lives.

What is Emotional Self-Care?

It’s the ability to identify through self-awareness what your emotions are telling you. What feelings are being generated from the emotions? It’s becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings and how best to handle them.

It is a part of total wellness that, if left unchecked, can wreak havoc on your mental and physical health; when emotional self-care is practiced, the benefits for overall health and wellness increase, giving way to a happier and healthier life.

Also, when you are emotionally aware and practicing emotional self-care, you are better able to handle other people’s emotions, which in turn can help with relationships.

Although feelings and emotions are often thought of as the same, they are not. So, before I dive into how you can manage emotional self-care, let’s go over the difference between emotions and feelings.

So, what’s the difference between emotions and feelings?

Emotions are originated in the body and are thought of as messages from the unconscious or subconscious mind. For example, objects, other people, smells, memories, the stories we create, etc., trigger sensations felt in the body, such as a racing heart, sweaty palms, tight chest, tension in the body, dizziness, shaky, etc.

Note: Emotions can be brought to the conscious mind through the self-awareness I discussed earlier, through therapy or coaching.

Feelings, on the other hand, are the reactions to emotions. Examples: A racing heart could be viewed as nervousness or fear of a situation, whereas someone else might experience the emotion differently as being excited about something they are about to do or just did.

A great article in Psychology Today gives an excellent overview of the difference between emotions and feelings, as well as some ideas on how to develop emotional awareness.

Read on for more ideas on how to develop and manage emotional self-care —

Acceptance — When you can accept your emotions, give yourself grace and not beat yourself up for your emotions, you are on your way to emotional self-care and self-love.

Tracking — Tracking your emotions can help you identify triggers to negative thinking patterns and thought processes, make better decisions, and manage your life more effectively.

Reframe — Reframing is taking the negative thoughts and thinking patterns and reframing them into a positive statement, so you can adjust the mindset and develop healthier self-talk. And reframing can go much deeper than that. Check it out here.

Create Positivity — A positive mindset can be created through journaling, reading books on emotional intelligence/self-care, listening to Podcasts, and working with a therapist or coach.

Respond versus React — Before you speak or do something you may later regret, slow down and listen to what your body is telling you. Make an informed decision about the situation and then respond.

Direction — Are you coachable? Can you follow directions from a therapist, a coach, a mentor, a good friend, etc., without becoming defensive or unwilling to make a shift or change?

Resilience — Become empathetic to yourself and others. It will go a long way in making your life healthier and happier.

Patience — Patience is a virtue our society is currently lacking. We could all benefit from a bit of patience for ourselves and others. Build a strong foundation with your emotional brain (the heart) and the thinking brain (the brain).

Gratitude — I’ve written this one time and time again for so many blogs and it’s just as beneficial here. When you shift the focus from what’s wrong in your life to what you are grateful for, you’ll be in a better headspace.

Move Your Body — Shifting the energy goes a long way in improving mood. Dance around the living room with some great music and dust the furniture while you’re at it. You’ll notice a boost in mood from seeing things sparkle and from the body generating a different kind of energy.

Hobbies — A hobby that you love, find relaxing, and sparks joy in your life will improve your emotional self-care by simply destressing and quieting your mind.

Laugh — It decreases stress, improves mood, and has positive effects on the immune system. Watch a funny movie, go to a live comedy event, or play a fun card game with your friends. Laughter is good medicine.

Ask for help — Sometimes we just can’t go it alone. Ask for help! Talk to a doctor, a counselor, a coach, or a good friend who can listen with empathy and help you find solutions to achieve emotional self-care.

We can create a strong foundation that will ultimately lead to a happier and healthier life when we have self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy for ourselves and others, and can listen and engage with others through good social skills.

Cheers to emotional self-care—give it a go and see how far you can go in creating a better life for yourself. Need some help. Check out my bi-weekly group coaching calls. The first month is free.

With love,
Vonie